Bread and Milk

[Bullet Magnet]

As the impending icepocalypse inched its way closer to the South last night and early this morning, I couldn't help but laugh at all the idiots scrambling around like chickens with their legs cut off.

Like clockwork, our mediocre news teams rushed to local grocery stores to give us yet another redundant news story about people buying up all the milk and bread. They should probably just record that story a few times this year and reuse it every year.

I simply cannot fathom why this phenomenon occurs. Now, keep in mind that I'm referring to the South, where the most oppressive of ice storms keeps you down for maybe 3-4 days. First of all, if you don't have enough food in your house to last 3-4 days, you're doing life wrong. Also, why the frick would you buy bread and milk? Dairy products have the least endurance of all food categories, so if you're planning for an epic 3-week snow-in, you're still screwed. Furthermore, if you're preparing for such a disaster, you should also be preparing to go without electricity for a few days. In that case, your fridge is rendered useless and your milk is toast (very slight but weak food pun intended). Rural folks in the South get a small pass here since they can simply set the milk outside but that's pretty much a risk anywhere in this day and age.

So, let's review. You drove to the store the day before the storm, stood in line forever with all the other idiots, lost the power to keep such a vulnerable product in its optimal temperature zone, and possibly run the risk of an animal or fellow idiot stealing your dairy.

Just get dry foods and bottled water if you're going to participate. People like Pause are laughing at my Southern folk.

[BlackCat]

As you drive down south, the average IQ of those around you decreases. Trust me on this. I've been to Indiana.