Dinosaurs farted themselves into extinction...

[Zorro]

After reading the article linked to below, I've come to the conclusion that the next thing we're going to be forced to deal with is a lawmaker in Congress wanting to ban baked beans and chili from the shelves of grocery stores, to reduce methane emissions from people like Bullet Magnet when they consume such foods.

ARTICLE LINK

Dinosaurs may have farted themselves to extinction, according to a new study from British scientists.

The researchers calculated that the prehistoric beasts pumped out more than 520 million tons (472 million tonnes) of methane a year -- enough to warm the planet and hasten their own eventual demise.

[...]

In other news, Al Gore recently developed a "methane credits" system, so people can not only offset their carbon footprint with carbon credits, but also the methane footprint that their family, pets, and livestock produce when they fart too much. It works like this... For every methane credit you buy, Al Gore's organization will donate one bottle of Beano to a local food bank near you. The donated Beano will then be included alongside any beans, lentils, and chili mixes that the food bank provides to needy families in your area. However, several activist environmental organizations are criticizing Al Gore's methane credits system, citing Gas-X as a superior alternative to Beano. Despite the criticism, Al Gore says he's reduced his own methane footprint by over 50% since the introduction of his new methane credits system, which is quite impressive considering he's so full of pooh.

[Bullet Magnet]

After reading the article linked to below, I've come to the conclusion that the next thing we're going to be forced to deal with is a lawmaker in Congress wanting to ban baked beans and chili from the shelves of grocery stores, to reduce methane emissions from people like Bullet Magnet when they consume such foods.

I resent that. The exhausts from my gludius maximus have been proclaimed healthy, low-calorie, and even spiritual by 3 of the 7 bishops I know.

I farted myself into existence for crying out loud.

[BlackCat]

John Edwards ftw.