by Bullet Magnet » August 31st, 2012, 11:06 am
Unfortuantely, Newborn, receiving a bow and arrow for a gift these days is a bad omen. In all reality, the bow's place in the gift marketplace was compromised over 200 years ago with the dawn of the modern computer. Let me explain:
We'll start with the bow. The inconsistent curve of the bow typically represents feelings of uncertainty in the relationship. Think of things that your girl could currently be dwelling on that give her "curved" feelings. Is she concerned with your moneymaking ability? Is she upset with the curvature of a certain body part? Furthermore, the only straight part of the bow - the drawstring - is extremely rigid, and no matter how hard you pull it, it flies back into place when it's all said and done. Has your girl been trying to pull on anything in the relationship?
I'm afraid we haven't even gotten to the worst of it, my friend. The arrows, seemingly strong and hardy, are each haunted by a sharp end. Does your girl foresee a sharp ending to the realtionship on the horizon? Do you believe your relationship is flying uncontrollably through the air and is about to hit a wall or puncture something beautiful?
Leave your job right now, go home, and discuss these issues with your girlfriend. Request that she return the bow and bring home a blue ceramic pie pan, three quarts of steamed broccoli, and a pack of dry-erase markers. I'll discuss the significance of these items later.