Two peanuts walk into a bar...

[BlackCat]

and one was a salted.

[Bullet Magnet]

Pause knows better than to engage in pun wars with me. You'll soon learn your lesson.

Did I mention my grandpa just retired from his door knob store? He just couldn't handle it.

[BlackCat]

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

[Bullet Magnet]

I got stuck in a field of white plants yesterday. I was really cotton a bad situation.

[BlackCat]

Ever since my aunt lost an eye, she only looks half as good.

[Pause]

bc... bms right

[Bullet Magnet]

*Disclaimer: All of my puns were created by me. They may exist elsewhere, but I do not search for puns. I'm far too prideful. Just keep that in mind.

I quit eating vegetables when I was 4. My mom didn't carrot all.

[BlackCat]

Yeah, yeah, BM. Keep talking. I'm not impressed.

[Zorro]

BM makes the best puns. He'll IM me while we're working and share them with me. Here's one he sent me a few days ago:

"Some dude just came to my house and removed my door bell. I guess he's after the no bell prize."

That's one of his lamer ones. But as far as I know, they're all original and conjured up by him. He must have reached level 100 in his conjuration skill in Skyrim.

[BlackCat]

"Some dude just came to my house and removed my door bell. I guess he's after the no bell prize."

I've heard that one before. It stems from "the guy that created the knock-knock jokes should get a no-bell prize."